Disability is not Inability

:: BUILDING ATTITUDES FOR BETTER PARENTING DISABLED CHILDREN (CWD) 28th November 2006

Many children with disabilities (CWD) do not learn much from the house environment. Many parents of CWD think only teachers in special schools can teach their children? Parents take their children to school not to learn but to get rid of them. CWD are the cause of the many the agony of a mother whose husband’s denial and even divorces her because she brought a curse to the family.

A household with several children with disabilities was shown on Television being evicted from the village because the community thought they brought bad curse to the village. In Wajir, a household has five children all with physical disabilities crawling on fours. A single parent mother takes care. Poverty is a major cause of poor parenting.

Parents of CWD are usually shocked when they realize at birth the child has deformities, or when it dawns on them that the child is deaf or blind or physically challenged. Many look and therefore treat their children according to various information either from a negative gospel or traditional beliefs and cultures. This is a worldwide phenomenon. Nick Vivichi of Australia says his mom rejected him at birth and almost abandoned him.

Many CWD are thrown in to the bushes and forests but those who pass through this stage still live at the mercies of the ignorant parent who may not parent the child to school and independent livelihoods

Our first challenge as parents is what we think about our Child with disability. What goes on in my mind when I have a disabled child on my laps. This is important as it determines how I bring up the child; and whether the child is successful in life or ends up as a beggar on the streets.

Many and various voices will shout in your mind, that they cannot be educated or cannot become anythiing even if educated. but all said and done is your responsibility you have to bear it all your life. And you have to do it in a way that enables the child to grow into adulthood and independence in society. What you do determines to what extent s/he achieves potential. Whatever disability and weather you know it or not each has a God ordained potential beyond your imagination.

It pays to understand this early for this may make a difference in future of your child. Much of the voices will take advantage of your ignorance. The loudest voice will take the greatest fear which will build your attitude and relationship with your child.

To overcome these voices you must learn more about your child’s disability and do not ask the local witch doctor for heavens sake. I am disturbed by some of the pastors and preachers for their word has caused the death of many a disabled child.Blindness of the mind is worse than physical blindness. Learn from as many sources as possible.

Find ways to open your mind on the positive things about your child. What is disability, how does it work, how do we manage. What limits does it bring out? If it is a communication disability how do I communicate, where can I learn how to communicate? What alternative language can we build as mother and child?

What we learn helps us to integrate the child into the family. Teaches us how brothers and sisters ought to treat the child WD

We need to treat the children equally and disability should not cause discrimination.
Just like boys should be treated equally with girls so is the disabled child. A child with or without disability boy or girl should be given all the best of life that your means can manage.

As a parent you just have to learn how.

Please make sure you do learn for it will help you overcome many challenges and will build a great future for the child. You will be stronger when your ignorant neighbours say those things that are not only negative but pulling down. Then you will find the joy when they close school and are back home. Even in a fast paced world, allyou need is to know what needs to be done.

With life demands getting more competitive and time becomes a scarce commodity; many parents do not even have time for their children let alone the one with disability.
But the consequence of this negligence is open to all. More drugs in schools, children sexual intercourse experiencing at tender age etc.

We need to make time for our children especially us single parents. Check his homework assist where you can. These are powerful opportunities to reinforce what they learnt in school. Children with disability need more of these kind of assistance. The children withcommunication disabilities need to be encouraged. They need to be built up so that they can overcome the battles in school and in community. The way you treat her is the way s/he looks at herself out there. If the sisters and brothers are not taught to be their brothers’ keeper, how will s/he be integrated in school or in the neighbourhood? Integration starts in the family. Inclusion starts at the family level.

Confirm that truly that is a chair and is signed not like this but that way. Let the other brothers and sisters learn to sign chair too. Let them do homework together, eat together, wear the same type of clothes, send them to bring you shoes and water. This builds their ego, self esteem and confidence. God loves all children equally.

Our parents are the first practitioners of this Godly love. Informed parents bring up more successful children of whatever abilities.

disabilitykenya

Category: Community policy

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