Disability is not Inability

:: Dating a deaf Lady
12th June 2002

I am a 24 years old hearing man and i met this beautiful 20 year old lady and fell in love. I was in a hotel with a friend then walked in this group of two ladies. i had never had an experience with the deaf community then. The two Ladies walked into the Restaurant along Kimathi Street and called for a cup of tea. I didn't hear their voices so i thought it was drowned in the music.

You know how we men are when you see a beautiful girl. I may not tell you where the strength came from. they sat directly opposite behind my friend. smart mamas in tight jeans and some sumptous behinds...I lost my vocabulary for some time and my friend realised something had just happened...

We talked with him for some time and as my tea was getting cold he decided to turn and look. Kwani whats up? You see those chicks there... I have to talk to the brown one. He made fun of me.. You guys from the lakes cannot turn your head from a brown lady?

Then a Miracle happened. She stood up and was walking towards me. My heart was beating fast... she passed. But not before i said hello. she smiled and passed on to the ladies i think. Love is a force of somekind or what was that some would say lust others would call it whatever, but when you see something that makes all your being beat and rumble you call it what you want.

When she came back she passed far and went back to her seat. shortly i got down to business and before i realised she was gone. i spent some long period thinking about her. surely only mountains dont meet. one day i bumbed into her in the same restaurant after visiting it 8 times and this time she was alone!

I walked into the restaurant and sat on the same table. In a table for four people, i could sit and excuse myself to be waiting for someone equally. She was contantly on her mobile sending texts. After some time i made my move. I said 'can i sit with you now that both of us have missed our dates?' Like she was expecting and heard what i said she smiled and put her hand on her ears smiling. I didnt know what that meant then. I moved to sit opposite her and put my Saturday newspaper next to her cup of tea. as i was moving my cup of tea she took the paper, got a pen from her bag and with lovely hands wrote on it 'I am deaf'.

She pushed the paper on my side. it took me a whole minute to believe what i just read. lokking at her smiling face i was wondering what on earth is this..? i actually went blank. I thought she was bluffing. No she is lying. No she cannot be deaf. What is deaf anyway? She realised what was going on in my mind and she smiled again and said she is deaf and she cannot hear what i am saying... i didnt realise i had been talking aloud and she read my lips and face of suprise.

For the next two hours we talked and talked and talked. by the time i realised there was no more space in the magazine. all the spaces in the newspaper had been written on. my goodness i got to know her name, where she comes from, where she works, where she lives, which primary school, what she loves and what she hates, i told her about myself and by the time i was giving her goodbye at the stage it was like a dream.

Looking at her walk away you cant think she is deaf. how does she pay her fare in a matatu? i felt scared leaving her alone with the maddnes that are matatu transport. How will she know? those become the subject of our next meeting.

As i went home that day, I didnt know there exist a relationship between a deaf and a hearing couple. disacordant? How will such a relationships work? Do we need to buy note books to communicate in the house? I cannot even imagine marriage. How will the children communicate with their mother? What if the child is crying at night? what if i leave her in the house and i come knocking and she is asleep who will open the door? With these questions in mind something inside me was saying i can get my share and run as we men always think.

Three years down the road, most of the questions have been answered and the relationship is stronger than ever.

Category: community

<< Back to projects | Back to Disability Kenya >>